You win some you lose some

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February 19, 2013 by cieramilo

It’s been almost a month since the fight and so much has happened. So let me talk about a little at a time:

1. Atlanta Corporate Fight Night

boxing 1“And the winner is….from the Blue Corner….Dena Burnett…” My hand is pulled up, but she’s dancing around. Wait. What? I’m in the Blue Corner….What happened?? They handed me the trophy and an announcer asked me questions I don’t really remember and my passbook says I won…but they called her name…. after stepping down to be checked by the physician, I was rushed by a few friends who came to see me and all of a sudden it was all over. I was dehydrated, overwhelmed, and confused. But I had won. I did it! I couldn’t believe it.

Ours was the second bout so we didn’t have long to wait to get in the ring. So thankful for that! The waiting was what was killing me. Wondering what to expect, how to act. Jozsef did such a great job of keeping me calm (and laughing) as we drove the five hours to Atlanta, all through the weigh in, and during the day as we watched dumb MTV shows in the hotel room. He pretty much only talks about sex and boxing, so the conversations were interesting enough at least. 

boxing 2At the venue, we only had a gossamer curtain separating us from the crowd and a changing window separating the blue and red corners. It was different from what I thought, but I was kind of glad to watch the people I knew come in. I seriously felt so supported. (Thanks y’all. It really meant so much to me!)

boxing 4

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t know what to tell you about the fight itself. We fought. We hit each other. I listened to Jo when I could. A couple left hooks landed well and I think that’s what got it in the end. Jo says I was technical through the whole thing. Honestly, that’s the best compliment I could ever receive. If I can out smart someone, I can win. It means there’s hope for this thing to continue.

That said, I’m training for the next fight which will be March 16th in St. Augustine. Check out the ridiculous flyer here: http://deadgamefightschool.com/aap/

2. United Way

The week after the fight I flew to Alexandria, VA for a United Way orientation conference. I got to meet some really fantastic professionals in the United Way network as well as the movers and shakers at United Way Worldwide. I was honored to be there, so thankful to my United Way for investing in me so that I could learn so much. I definitely drank the kool-aid. I was invested.

A week later, I was fired.

Let me put this into a little more perspective in case you haven’t been reading this blog at all. In November, I picked up my life and moved it back home. Back home. The last place I wanted to end up – where the merry-go-round of young marriage, babies, and blue collar work never ends. (There’s nothing wrong with that! Many of my friends live full happy lives here, but it’s not what I wanted at this point in MY life.) But I moved here anyways, because the job was perfect. The situation just fit. I was immediately, as I said, invested. I went to community meetings, board meetings, local sporting events, charity fundraisers, and cultural events. I freaking WAS Coastal Georgia. And I was loving it! (Even shopping for a house. IN DARIEN, BLOCKS AWAY FROM THE HOME I GREW UP IN…WHAT THE HELL!!!) ((sorry…still in shock))

However, something wasn’t working at UWCGA. I could list the reasons I think it happened, but I honestly don’t think it’s worth repeating. I have no bitterness towards them, only shock and disappointment. I mean deep disappointment. Like breaking up with a long term relationship disappointment. You know that it’s wrong and that it’s going to end, but it doesn’t stop you from being really broken up about all the opportunities that you lost. Just like that.

Just like that and my world is turned upside down. Here’s what’s up now:

A. I work as a hostess at Millhouse Steakhouse in Brunswick, GA. I was so lucky to land this job right when I walked in. They needed a someone full time and that’s exactly what I wanted. It’s still not quite enough to get me by.

B. Because I don’t make enough right now, I have to move out of my apartment. This is actually the worst part of this whole thing. I love my place. I love living by myself, in my own little 800 sq ft palace. There’s a post on here somewhere about how much I love it. And now, I have to find something else. This means breaking my lease (that aint cheap, let me tell you), moving my furniture to my mom’s (again), and living on my futon in someone’s spare bedroom IF IF IF I can find someone. Or…move in with my Mother who lives 45 minutes away from my gym and my work. It’s looking bleak. I’m Positivity #4 on the StrengthsFinder test…but my positivity is FAIL.ING.

C. Applying to jobs (hope dying there too) and anything else I can get my hands on. The application process is slow this time around (remember, the first time I was at 400+ applications out) because I honestly don’t know what direction to head in. I’m thinking about everything: education, nonprofit, government…but it’s so hard to go full force in any direction when I thought this last one was the right one and it ended up so badly. Rejection stinks. I feel paralyzed.

But….

I have never wanted for anything, I have an amazing support group everywhere I turn, and Goddamnit I have the heart to keep going no matter how hard it is. And it is hard. It will always be hard. That’s what they don’t tell you. It doesn’t get easier, you get stronger. So I’m going to do what I have to do, like I’ve always done. I’m not homeless, I’m not hungry, I’m not ill-equipped. Something has to give. You win some you lose some, and you just keep going.

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Countdown to Fight Night

Atlanta Corporate Fight NightJanuary 24th, 2012

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