Fall Back

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November 4, 2012 by cieramilo

I love the winter. I’m not one of those folks with Seasonal Affectedness Disorder (SAD…really?). I love it when I can see my breath and my car is frosted over so that I have to use a spatula to get the ice off. It’s darker longer so I don’t feel like such a loser going to bed before eleven, and I feel like I accomplished something by getting up before dawn. Coffee is better when it’s cold out; soup is better when there’s a chill; and there is an excuse for snuggling – efficiency. When Daylight Savings Time ends in the fall, it is the mark that coat-weather is upon soon upon us, and it’s time for a change.

The adage to help us remember the way that the clock should be moved as the time changes was always interesting to me because I felt like it dictated the way we feel and act during the seasons. Spring Forward, Fall Back. In literature (way before we decided to mess with time to increase the workday), Spring is frequently used to describe newness, action, and growth. While Autumn is used to talk about the descent into unconsciousness or the end of something. Seasons, always meaning change, are significant in time, literature, our way of life.

So as I’m stepping into this season and out of the old one, I can’t help but connect the time change to what is happening. Fall Back. As in: Fall Back in line after a bit of rebellion. Fall Back into a comfy bed, safe and warm. Fall, after an overambitious leap. Back, home. I don’t believe in coincidences or happenstance. The Universe is too intricate and God too engaged for accidents. Maybe it’s pithy, but I think it’s pertinent that I am doing all of this changing at one time.

Training for a fight – especially the first one – is a physical, emotional, and mental experience, and everything starts to change. You discipline your body, and it makes a drastic shift. I’ve only been at it since the beginning of October, and I can tell a significant difference. I’m stronger, a little faster, and I think differently about the workout. It’s about power, endurance, and speed, not aesthetics. You train your mind to think like a fighter and you control your emotions to use them as energy – you need all you can get. To add to all those personal changes, I’m also moving, starting a new job, and trying to figure out this whole adulthood thing all in the span of a few weeks!! I must be freaking crazy!!!!!

Or, maybe, somewhere in me, I must still have faith that things work out for my good, that I’m not alone in this, and that Someone is witnessing all this change and is proud that I decided not to quit moving forward. Staying in the fight.


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